My Story: Fearless Latina

Being fearless might be difficult, embarrassing, and even little guilt-inducing, but it can also feel thrilling and freeing. I used to be what is referred to as a "people-pleaser." Having said that, I'll admit that I would go to any lengths to avoid setting limits with my friends and family or to make my family proud. Due to my inability to say "no," being a people-pleaser was all I knew. I worked hard to make everyone happy because I didn't want to offend anyone. Even though I occasionally still desire to disrupt homeostasis and make people happy, it wasn't until I began counseling that I discovered how to manage my anxiety and acknowledge that change is beneficial.

In the past few weeks, I've learned that my anxiety is a result of people-pleasing, not setting boundaries, and wanting to please others. I remember sitting in a session with my therapist and she told me "you have to start saying no and being honest with how you are feeling". I sat there and I could feel the anxiety all over my body. I began to wonder how I would be able to refuse my family. My family expects me to live up to their standards because I am the oldest, but as I began to document my journey, I understood that my family's expectations do not define who I am. This is my opportunity to develop a "new story" and discover my identity.

I started to believe that creating limits would be the toughest for me. My family started expecting me to do something rather than just being asked. This was my chance to draw a line in the sand. I told my family how I was feeling and informed them of the impact anxiety has on my health, asking them to question me before presuming I will achieve their expectations. Since we wouldn't normally discuss mental health, it was a scary subject to have with my family. I learned to "always be strong."

After speaking with them, a heavy weight was lifted off my shoulders, and I entered the room sobbing. I started crying because I was so afraid they wouldn't accept me and would scold me. Instead, they sat down with curiosity because this was all new to them and made an effort to comprehend what I was saying.

Setting firm boundaries with my family was scary, but I was able to do it and I now feel pretty good about myself. Even though I occasionally feel guilty and ashamed for saying no, I allow myself to feel these feelings and write about them in my notebook. I've made enormous strides, and I keep reminding myself that growth requires change.

It can be challenging to establish boundaries and deal with disagreement that may bring up a range of emotions, much like in my story. Just keep in mind that being assertive on your behalf does not make you selfish! It gives you courage and strength. You may establish limits, alter your perspective, and trust your gut. You have incredible abilities! When you begin reclaiming your life, it will require time and patience to be kind to yourself.